Yesterday, my father suddenly took me aside and showed me a picture of myself from two years ago. He asked, "Where has this face of yours gone? You used to have a face like the junkie." I was extremely annoyed by my father's words. I am a girl, did I really have a face like a junkie? I stood there quietly. My father threatened and said, "Aren't you eating properly? Or are you just glued to your phone all day?" I replied calmly, "I eat properly."

My father cleared his throat and asked, "So why does your face look like this?"

I responded with annoyance, "Why are you comparing a picture from two years ago to now? Is the food from two years ago the same as now? Even if we didn't have beef every week back then, we would have it twice a month. We used to buy two golden chickens a week. When we went to the market, we wouldn't buy any fish except for freshwater prawns. What do you buy at the market now? Two kilos of tilapia and cheap vegetables every week. When food changes this much, it's natural that your face will change too."

Maybe my father was hurt by my words. He knows I can't eat everything. After a moment of silence, my father spoke up again, "You're the daughter of a nawab, aren't you? So why are you ashamed of not being able to eat bad food?"

In a calm voice, I said, "Who is responsible for my habit? Whenever Mom struggles to provide us with everything to eat, who does she get angry with and say, 'My daughter will eat whatever she wants. You don't have to force her to eat.'?"

Dad didn't say anything in response to my words. He sat there with a sullen face. Even if I didn't say anything like this, I could have understood my own feeling. But what else could I do? My mood is not always good.

Apart from Eid, I don't remember buying any new clothes. Even if I don't express any kind of complaint, I just say one word every day, and my face starts to look bad!

That day, Dad brought a chicken from a farm in the market. While handing over the bag from the market to Mom's hand, he said, "Cook the chicken for only two children. They can't eat everything. We can just eat potato soup."

The mother smiled and said, "Alright, I shouldn't have done it. But I told you to buy medicine for your hand pain. It's quite painful even after going to uproot the tree. I told you I could do it, but you didn't listen."

Father cleared his throat and said, "The farm's chicken is 260 taka per kg. Everything is expensive these days. I went to buy oil and spices and now I only have a twenty taka note left in my pocket. I don't know how we will manage the remaining days of the month."

"Everything needs to be reduced a little bit. I gave you the money I had yesterday," Mother said.

father replied in a gentle voice, "The pain in my hand has gone away. Don't worry."

There was a tree by the pond for many days. The next day, my parents cut the tree and made a fire. Perhaps, the father got hurt in the process. He couldn't buy his own medicine to meet the family's food demand. We, the children, don't have the means of transportation like the middle class in this market. For many days, a one-thousand-rupee note was lying with some small change in the dairy shop. Thinking that I would not have to ask anyone for money when I go to college, I kept the note hidden in my father's shirt pocket and came back. Maybe I won't have to eat snacks for a few days when I go to college. I might have to walk a little bit. However, my father's medicine must be bought. I should change the habit of having tea twice a day while walking on the road. I should roam around with empty pockets.

Perhaps this small amount of money is nothing. But I do not have more power than this. I am the child of a middle-class family. We do not have the ability to fulfill our desires or luxuries. Maybe I could have eaten first and survived later before. However, I am not sure if I will be able to eat rice twice a day as the price of everything is increasing.

When my father was leaving for work in the morning, he found a thousand-rupee note in his pocket. I thought he would be very happy, but he didn't have a smile on his face. He became serious and stared at the note. A tear fell from the corner of his eye and landed on the note. Not all happiness can be expressed with a smile.

- farhana kabir manal